Today I went in to my first interview at a clothing store with confidence and optimism. I left self conscience and all my fragile hopes and dreams battered and bruised just like Chris Brown’s new girlfriend will be, coincidentially, I think that is synonymous with Rihanna.
Apparently stores like the one I applied to actually recruit people to work there. I just filled out an application. They all introduced themselves and said, “Well, I kind of have the job anyway, they approached me about modeling their clothes already.” So when the group interview commenced I sat next to, what I thought were adult woman girls. There spider long legs, and perfectly manicured acrylic nails that could cut the soul out of any average girl’s heart misguided me on that judgment. They were 17 and basically gift-wrapped a job at hollister.
More so than that, they had these perfect little decoration noses. They were just dead center in the middle of their face chillin like, “oh yeah, I’m a nose, whatever, it’s cool, I guess it’s a good gig, I keep the blackheads away and in turn I am admired by all those who seek to gaze upon my perfection…I’m guessing you are a coat rack of some sort?” My nose in turn said, “Well, if you must know, my nose is a distinguishing feature that makes me special…my mom told me.” But by the time my nose got a word in, the prissy nose had already lost interest in my average nose.
And yet…my nose kept salivating at her trophy nose. Aw, what lovely imagery…a salivating nose…it’s like I’m a poet. How can some people be born with these perfectly straight nose ridges and defined tips
(you perv, I know when you sat down and starting googling like a fool,that is not the ‘tip’ you meant…)
My groucho eyebrows and keebler elf nose were now oggling these apparent underage hotties and envied their facial harmony. And that is when I scratched hollister off my list of places to work. hit me up about my nose all you plastic surgeons doing nice things out of the kindness of your plastic hearts. My only fear with plastic surgery is the murder of the late MJ’s nose. I will keep my honker any day over that.
For many views of my nose, click this nose link.
No comments:
Post a Comment